Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I've laid my head upon my pillow
Late at night so many times
With a song unheard by others in my heart
Caught away in all your goodness
How the tears of joy would roll
My unspoken praise ascending
In the stillness, in the dark
That's the second verse of Gordon Jensen's song, "Praise Unspoken." I'm up early. Well for me anyway. As I was checking my emails I had Gordon's CD "Tuesdays and Thursdays" playing in the background. Then, this song came on. I had to stop typing for a few moments as the song overtook my thoughts and feelings. I found myself reflective. Actually I've been this way for over a few days now. Today's post might not have any continuity to it. Just some rambling thoughts on a Tuesday morning.
It's easy for me to get disgruntled in traffic, to get impatient in a grocery store line and let the little insignificant things bother me at times. Certainly I could blame it on the fast paced society in which we live. But, really, it could be that I haven't settled my spirit inside me for the day ahead. That's where the song comes in.
Over this past weekend, my brother Terry, my sister Julie and myself were going through some old photo albums at Dad's house. Dad wanted us to go through some of the old photos and take some of the ones we wanted for our collection. It should have been a happy time. And...some of the pictures brought back some very good memories. However, some made me incredibly sad. Mom passed away seven years ago next month. As I looked at some of the older photographs it reminded me of how much she sacrificed for her family.
On one hand, I felt gratified that she cared for us and also led my brother Terry and me to the Lord. For all the home cooked meals, clean clothes and love that she lavished upon us. On the other hand, I felt guilty! My mind the past few days were of thoughts: "did I thank her enough for what she did?", "did I tell her I loved her enough?" So, when I popped in the CD this morning and that Gordon Jensen classic started playing I was overcome with tears.
Why is it that it's so easy to grumble and complain about things? Why is it that I don't praise God more and complain a lot less? All I know is that for a few moments I just thanked God for his goodness. I thanked him for my mother and my father. A set of parents that had it hard but raised a family anyway. Then, I had to ask the Father above to forgive me for not praising him enough.
I do know in my own spiritual life I need to be in an "attitude of gratitude" a lot more than what I do at times. Okay, so a car cuts me off in traffic, the clerk at the store was in a foul mood, whatever! God has been so good to me. As I looked at those old photographs it just reminded me of how God has brought me through. It's like the old hymn, "God Leads Us Along." Some through the fire, some through the flood, some through the waters, but all by the blood! How true.
So, this morning as I had to repent for my lack of praising God, I ended up praising him! Oh, Lord, how I need to do that more. Gordon and I have known each other since 1979. We've been able to communicate over the past six months and catch up on things. I could never thank him enough for songs that have gotten me through some pretty rough times in my life. So, as I end this post today, I thank the Lord for his goodness. I give him my unspoken and yet at times, my spoken praise. I know when I focus more on the Lord and less on what's around me, a gentle peace comes over me. It seems everything reminds me of a song. I think of the old one, "Wonderful Peace." As I close, listen to the first minute or so of this classic by Gordon. I hope your day is filled with the peace of God!