Tuesday, April 22, 2008


"I've had it, I cannot take it anymore, I'm out of here!" I grab a travel bag and start piling a few clothes in it not caring whether they are folded or not. Not my average behavior. I have to run away. I don't want to endure this pain anymore. "Okay, where do I go? I'll fill up the car and let it take me as far as I can go until the funds run dry. Somewhere, other than here, has to be better than what I am going through. Enough is enough."

"God, why must this go on? Are you even there anymore?" The thoughts are like a rainstorm that refuses to subside. Torrents of water flood over me until I can barely stand it! Sure, I can travel the miles. I've traveled many in my life. I've been to so many places. I've found there's one place you can't run from...and that is yourself. Okay, relax. Settle down. Pray. Sure, pray. "Oh God, help me, I'm drowning here. My pain is too great. I can't take another moment. If I am to make it, you will have to be my strength in my weakness." So, I drop the bag to the floor and collapse to the bed and pray. And pray some more.

Somehow, a deep peace washes over me. "I'll never leave you nor forsake you" he says in his Word. So, I'll STAY! I'll weather the storms of life with my Lord being at the helm. Sometimes it's easier to run away, harder to stay, but well worth it! Frankly, staying in God's presence is much better. Not always a cakewalk, but much more comforting. Peace, wonderful peace.

Below are some of the lyrics from Chris Lee's song, "Stay." His song mirrors how I feel at times. Chris is a great and upcoming artist. I had the pleasure of meeting him when he was running sound for Michael English in concerts. I found a man that is sincere in his love for Christ and just an all around great guy! As I was leaving that night he smiled at me and said, "Stay real man!" And he's a believer who is doing just that. I wish him well in his endeavors. He has a great voice but more importantly, a heart for God! Be well all.

Chris Lee

If you want to feel all alone, walk away
Try to find a home of your own, walk away
Now I’m not keeping score
But I’ve seen it so many times before
Puts your bags down
This time around…

Stay with me I have all you need
You’ve tried everything, oh everything
Now just stay
All you’re searching for can be found
And so much more
No more running away…
Stay…Just stay

"Stay" Edit


  1. Oh my goodness, Randy. I love these words so much and I am so sorry you're in so much pain. I recognize that desperation to outrun it and it's always so frustrating to know you can't. So we HAVE to Give it to God. What else can we do?

  2. Sniz,

    Actually that story was true from a year ago and part of it was allegorical. However, it does remain true to those who are going through things now. Thanks for always being a faithful reader of my blog!


  3. Randy:

    It seems like forever since I've commented--sorry. I think about you often. I thought about you this past Thursday when I was in the Best Buy Super Suite at Great American Ballpark getting paid to watch a Reds game.

    I love the way you write and share your feelings. Let's be sure to meet sometime this summer--Great American Ball Park would be a good destination, especially if the Reds start playing real baseball.

  4. Rog,

    That would be great to see the Reds. It would be nice if they did start winning a few! It would be great for us to root on the team and have some great fellowship. I appreciate your kind words so much.